Aghhhhh

Today I just wanted to scream today. It is the Summer holidays here in Australia and I am trying to juggle my time between being in hospital with Jaxon (who is 3 weeks old today and  or 37 wks gestation) and my older son Tyson. I have limited patience due to going in to see Jax 2-3 times per day & night and then trying to keep the house tidy, expressing milk to take in for Jaxon (3-4 hourly) food shopping and trying to do fun things with Ty before he heads back to school. It will be so much easier when Jaxon is home and I am with my boys at the same time. LOL Did I mention I am totally exhausted (I know I did... :P ) and find myself with limited patience????  I have been meaning to order the book BLOOM from Amazon written by Kelle Hampton on her own experience with her 2nd daughter having DS but once I get home I am doing washing or sorting mail, preparing food, doing the dishes because the 14 almost 15 yr old is too busyplaying his playstation 3 off in his bedroom or texting friends on his mobile (cellular) phone, is on facebook or skype chatting to friends. I have asked him to atleast do the dishes in the sink every night which mind you he is making during the day as I am usually in the hospital and not eating home but NO that is too much trouble to ask... For example early afternoon I had decided to not spend the day in with Jaxon in SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit) and drove the 20 mins home to our house in the suburbs. We were about to head out for lunch (the midday meal) and to the shops and master 14 starts being silly at the front door. I was NOT in the mood for silly stuff. I am EXHAUSTED... But no he has to stuff around as we are about to leave.. Of course I cracked it and then went on about anything and everything that has been annoying me lately, even the last 6 weeks. (As I blog more I will explain more clearly how I came to have Jaxon 6 wks early and the crap pregnancy I had).... Anyhow back to cracking the shits earlier today. I ended up jumping in the car and storming off leaving Tyson standing at the front door. I did a 5 min drive around to calm down and then came home.... There he was sitting on the sofa looking sad.. Well perhaps he should think of his actions before he does something next time... Thats just too much to ask right now I think.... I feel like a broken record telling him that Mum has enough things to deal with, with his brother and I am trying my hardest to juggle the both of them. I could quite easily sit at the hospital allday with Jaxon and not come home to spend time with Tyson but I choose to try and be there for both my boys! nyhow we ended up having a nice visit with Jaxon later on today where big brother read his little brother a couple of books that were his as a baby and toddler.. It was very cute.. Took some photos too. I'm having tonight off but havent really stopped. Tys having a pool party and bbq with friends on saturdy fternoon so we have been cleaning the pool tonight and topping it up and clearing the back lawn for Mr clip to come around and mow and whipper snipper it for me on friday....